when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize