Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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