There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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