I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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