i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
