You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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