We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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