as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
