Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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