shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
