I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
