please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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