There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
