Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
