You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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