Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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