I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
