Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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