oh god the rape fog is back!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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