If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
