you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
