he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize