Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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