We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
