Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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