i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
