A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he fucked my hip out of place.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
