you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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