I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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