This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
