His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
