dude i'm inner monologue high
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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