Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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