I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
