Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize