Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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