Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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