Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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