this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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