Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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