Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
