Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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