I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
