He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
