Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have demons in me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
