Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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