but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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