After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
