new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
