i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
