A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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