I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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