i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
