I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
