So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
