I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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