I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
