no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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