You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize