hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
