My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
