Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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