The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
