Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
