I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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