I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
