Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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