Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My hand turned me down
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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